We all like to believe we are logical, reasonable people. We make decisions based on facts, carefully weigh our options, and adjust our behaviors when things don’t work out. Or at least, that’s what we tell ourselves. But if that were true, why do so many of us struggle to break bad habits, correct our thinking, or genuinely change our behavior?
The answer lies in the way we process information. Most people aren’t chasing accuracy—they’re chasing confirmation. When faced with conflicting evidence, they don’t seek the truth; they seek validation for what they already believe. This is why so many individuals feel stuck, unable to improve despite their best efforts. The 3B Model of behavior modification explains why this happens and, more importantly, how to fix it.
The Three Pitfalls Holding You Back
1. Bias: The Invisible Filter That Warps Your Thinking
Bias isn’t just something other people have—it’s something you have, whether you realize it or not. Your brain filters information to confirm what you already believe (confirmation bias), prioritizes what feels true over what is true (fluency bias), and clings to past investments even when they no longer serve you (sunk cost fallacy).
How the 3B Model Helps: Instead of assuming your beliefs are accurate, start questioning their origins. Ask yourself: Am I seeking the truth, or just seeking to be right? Use Contrastive Inquiry to explore opposing perspectives and challenge assumptions. Growth comes from discomfort—lean into it.
2. Belief: The Foundation That Holds You in Place
Your beliefs dictate your decisions, often without you even noticing. Many people fail to change because they address behavior without first addressing the beliefs that drive it. If you believe you “just aren’t good at networking,” you’ll avoid opportunities to improve, reinforcing the very behavior that keeps you stuck.
How the 3B Model Helps: Once you identify biases, examine how they shape your beliefs. Instead of asking, Why do I struggle with this? ask, What belief is keeping me from improving? By restructuring faulty beliefs, you create the foundation for lasting change.
3. Behavior: The Outcome of a Faulty System
Many self-improvement methods focus on modifying behavior without addressing the biases and beliefs beneath it. This is why people yo-yo diet, break and rebuild habits, or find themselves in the same toxic relationships over and over again. Behavior is the result of an internal process—you can’t change the output without fixing the input.
How the 3B Model Helps: Instead of relying on willpower alone, use reinforcement mechanisms to actively reshape how you process experiences. Small, repeated actions (habit stacking, identity-based change, and intentional self-correction) strengthen the neural pathways needed for new behaviors to stick.
How to Start Chasing Accuracy Today
The key to self-improvement is trading the need to “be right” for the desire to be accurate. This shift requires:
- Radical self-honesty: Acknowledge that you have biases and blind spots.
- Contrastive Inquiry: Actively seek perspectives that challenge your assumptions.
- Emotional detachment from beliefs: Your beliefs should serve you, not the other way around.
- Reinforcement mechanisms: Change isn’t about flipping a switch; it’s about consistent, small shifts over time.
Final Thoughts
If you’ve ever wondered why change feels impossible, it’s because you’re focusing on the wrong part of the equation. The 3B Model shows that to truly modify behavior, you must first confront the biases that drive your beliefs. When you shift your focus from “being right” to being accurate, you stop repeating past mistakes and start making real progress.
The question is: Are you ready to challenge yourself, or will you keep searching for reasons to stay the same?
Want to learn more? Be sure to check out the actual theory and approach by clicking here.
